apparently i still have major trust issues. i was unaware.

what inspires you?

he says the sweetest things at the most random times. :)

i just want to deck you in the face so hard.
i don't know why, and you have no idea.

i ran a fucking 9.39!!!
FUCKING STOCK!!!



while scott was running 9.29 with mods.... and a 19 year younger car....
ahem... CHEVY FOR THE WIN!

on flickr, there are a lot of people doing the 365 self portraits thing (one selfie per day for one year).
so i decided that the day scott deploys is the day i will begin. it will be an interesting way to count down the days, and we'll both get to see how i change over the course of a year... if i change at all! :)

I GOT A WEDDING RING YESTERDAY!
it's beautiful. :)

love really is a battlefield.
& sometimes, civilians and bystanders get caught in the crossfire.



in the end, we all leave with holes in our hearts.

i don't like these awkward silences.

you have taken the fun out of learning. fuck you.


sincerely,
me

sometimes, when i get on 75 and my exit for school comes up.... a big part of me wants to drive right past it and keep going.





i'm really, really starting to hate this place.

the other day upon a stair,
i met a man who wasn't there.
he wasn't there again today.
i wish, i wish he'd go away.

i can't wait until i'm thin again. ♥

sometimes i feel like a ship that has just been ravaged by an angry sea, floating along a calm crystal ocean with my sails broken; helpless, only able to go where the ocean decides to take me.

i no longer wish for the way things used to be.

i am anxiously awaiting the day that someone invents a laptop with a built-in credit card machine.

now, i am positive that FGCU is working against me. i know it.

i went there at 8am this morning to see an advisor. they were taking walk-ins, so i waited for 30 minutes.
good news: after this semster, i will have completed all my gen. ed. requirements, except one natural science.
bad news: in order to progress further in my psych major, i need to take experiemental psych.
worse news: i have to sign up with the freshmen, so it will be full, and those teachers don't give a fuck about anybody.

my advisor told me that getting into one of those classes is slim to none. also because of that one course, i will only be able to take four classes in the spring, instead of six like i had planned. so much for graduating early.

in a sad attempt to get into this class, i am going to email the three teachers offering it next semster and beg them to let me in. i will do anything to get in.

if i don't get into experimental psych in the spring, that will be the ONLY course i will be able to take in the fall, because i won't be eligible for any other upper level courses yet (in psych OR philosophy). therefore, i will not be a full time student, which will cause me to lose the majority of my scholarships.

FUCK. MY. LIFE.

i just want someone to hug me and tell me that everything's going to be okay.





and i want them to be right.

i fucking hate this school. sure, a lot of the professors are great and knowledgeable... but try to get ANYTHING done, and you've got to go through hell and back.

i tried to see an advisor and/or make an appointment to see one today, which would really work out considering i've got a FOUR HOUR BREAK in between classes. they're booked until november.
okay, that's understandable. i'm a reasonable person. i get it.
so i ask if they can call me if someone cancels or no shows for their appointment... they can't do that. why? because they have to give the person at least 15 mintues AFTER their appointment time to show up. and if the person doesn't show, they just prepare for their next appointment.
that is NOT how a business is run. you make an appointment, and you're supposed to be there AT THE SET TIME. 5 minutes late, okay. understandable. 15? fuck you. take a walk-in.

so now, i have to drive all the way the fuck out here on a friday, and wait for someone to see me. and if a senior or athlete or honors student happens to walk in after me, they'll take that student and i'll have to wait. FUCK THIS FUCKING PLACE.

then i ask about shadowing someone working in my field. they tell me the person i have to see, so i go on the website to find his email and phone number. the building that his office is in is as far away from the main campus as you can possibly get. i'd really like to make sure that he's going to be there before i walk that far. i may kill people if i walk over there and he's not there, or i "just missed him." i am NOT OKAY with that.
the fucking page with faculty and staff information is down. JUST that page. just that one. that's it.

fuck my life.

i joined a gym!! :D

and as long as i don't get a job, i'll be going to classes at least 3 times a week.
i can't wait until i can walk around without my thighs touching. :)
that's all i want!

& i'm also trying to eat healthier... but still cheat every now and then.
i really want to bake brownies. NOM.


i can't wait until i start getting unemployment & military benefits.
i paid for that shit, it's about time they start paying me back..


& i still have NO IDEA why i got fired.
from what i hear, nobody's allowed to talk about me anymore. and reba doesn't even speak my name. BITCH!